I feel like stranger to my own blog. The more time that has gone by has made it harder and harder to reopen the page I call my own. It’s been more than a few months since I’ve logged on, and even longer since I wrote consistently.
The months of my absence were filled with life changes, struggles, highs, lows, and insecurity. As I look back on the months where Simply October seemed like something in my past I feel disappointed with myself. I had a few hard months internally/emotionally. I want to fill everyone in on all that has happened but it may take a few posts, so be patient with me.
The reason for this post is simply that I’ve felt like I have something to say for the first time in a while. One of the main reasons I haven’t written in so long is that deep down I’ve had a very empty feeling in my own personal life. Before I started Simply October I would pray everyday and before I wrote every post that it would be to God’s glory and as a reflection of Him, not myself.
As I slowly began to slip into a very long spiritual low, the less I felt like God could use me, and like I really had nothing to say that could help anyone. Since Matt and I moved to Lynchburg we have had to endure change after change, and jump hurdle after hurdle. And one thing that we have had to learn is that just because we answered God’s call on our life and are trying to live according to His plan doesn’t mean that the road will be easy or enjoyable.
I think it’s normal to go through stages of doubt, especially when you’re on the road that we are. However, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s not a little bit embarrassing when you tell people you’re going into ministry but deep down are struggling with so many doubts and spiritual lows.
Throughout many of the obstacles we’ve experienced in the past year I feel like God has taught us so many lessons that will be super impactful in our future and in the end that is all worth it. We both feel like this has been a season where God is pruning us for our future
So all this to say, we don’t have it all figured out. We don’t know exactly what our future holds but we are certainly learning it won’t be easy. But we’ve also learned that no matter how tough the road is, God is equipping us day by day and in the end He is with us and that is our comfort.
One post that I’ve really been dying to finish was one that we started on a couple months ago with first year of marriage advice for newlyweds and engaged couples. As we started that post I just felt it wasn’t the right time and pressed pause on it but I’m excited for the finished product when it is time!